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"I'll Saw Your Wooden Leg Off"


Most evenings see me more than content to stay at home in the warm, but last night I braved the darkness and went out to the cinema.      Not just any cinema, a very special one called 'The Kinema in the Woods' at Woodhall Spa, which is about half an hour away from Parsonage Cottage.

The Kinema was originally a concert pavilion which overlooked the tennis courts, croquet lawns, gardens and bandstand in hotel and Spa grounds.     In 1922 it was converted to a cinema,  moving pictures being all the rage at that time. 

One quirky little touch was that the posh seats - the first six rows - were deck chairs  and very much in demand at their price of 1/6d, other seats ranged from 1/3d to 6d!   In 1953 the seating was updated and changed.

There are two screens, last night's film 'The Nutcracker and the Four Realms' was shown in the smaller auditorium, which seats about 90 people.     The walls have some very interesting murals of countryside scenes, while the wall lights look like clusters of enormous ice cream cones, great fun and no doubt quite old.

The seating is comfortable, plenty of leg and arm room. 

My big gripe - and this applies to cinemas large and small - is that people these days seem to think that they are going to starve if they don't eat constantly, while slurping down enormous cartons of fizzy drinks and coffees.   

Before the film began the auditorium was filled with the sound of people chomping and munching on gigantic tubs of candyfloss, popcorn and/or enormous bags of sweets.   Chomp, chomp, chomp.   



This was my grandchildren walking ahead of me as we made our way back into the woodland car park.  Dark and mysterious, but well illuminated along the pathways.   They loved the adventure.








It is a charming little cinema in a fabulous setting, not too far from home.   Will definitely be visiting again, as soon as there is something I want to watch.







Other than that, I have been very domesticated, trying to make up for all those weeks when I neglected the house and indulged in craft work.    The pantry - which is as large as a small single bedroom, has had a thorough cleaning and everything has been organised, it looks wonderful at the moment, but it won't take long for those mischievous pixies to start messing it up again.

Today I began work on scrubbing out the Boot Room, which should really be called the Mud Room.  It is the room where Wellington boots, coats and hats reside, so do the white goods.      Dog towels hang on the radiator, they are constantly in use, every walk is a trek through mud, but that can't be helped.     I hose down my Wellingtons, before I come in, but the dog can't be hosed.    Instead i towel him dry, clean his paws as best I can, then time and the warm fireside do the rest.

The cake and biscuit tins have been filled again, the grandchildren are happy.

Tomorrow I should tackle the mountain of ironing, but I also need to do the supermarket shopping, after which I have arranged to have coffee and a chat with a friend, so perhaps the ironing can wait until Wednesday.  One thing for sure, it won't run away.

Talking of which, I was cleaning the bedroom the other day and noticed some fresh wood dust around one leg of a very old tallboy...I investigated, and yes, woodworm.   Little beggars.

The tall boy is now residing in the polytunnel, upside down,  having had some woodworm treatment applied.  I have scanned all around the room and other pieces of furniture, but it seems that only the tallboy was affected, thank goodness.

I'm wondering whether woodworm could have come in with some of the logs which we occasionally burn on the open fire in that room.

I am thankful that I noticed it, it could have been so much worse.

Looking at the tallboy, I couldn't help thinking about a phrase which my father sometimes used to warn us that we were getting a bit unruly.

"Behave yourself or I'll saw your wooden leg off." 


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